My name is Carrie, I am 34 years old, a doormat and I take things personal. I have been in "taking things to personal recovery" for most of life. But just a few minutes ago I realized, I may not always be the one with the problem. Since when is it okay to be mean? Since we have been told to not take things so personal, that's when. It is like giving people a free pass to be mean to you. I have been told taking things personal is a bad thing and that I shouldn't worry so much, but I am starting to realize this is something about myself I don't want to change. In fact I think everyone should start caring a little more!
Should it bother me when a cranky old man cusses at me at U-Scan because there are people waiting in line and I am in charge of 4 different registers of which no one can figure it out how to use correctly and I am too busy to CHECK him out...AT U-SCAN???? Yes I think it is okay for me to take is personally when some one cusses at me because they are acting like a 2 year old and can't control their temper when they aren't getting what they want. Why is okay for him to be a total jerk and I have to not let it bother me at all. A grown man cussed at me? I am supposed to be okay with that????
Should it bother me that my 9 year old son had a 3D project due today that had colored glass stones glued to it (hope you don't mind mom. Jake thought the blue and green ones would be perfect to represent the Piedmont of NC) and I helped him carry it in (because he had to carry in his metal book holder thing) and his teacher was not happy to see me. Keep in mind there are parents galore carrying in projects (the whole 4th grade did the same project) to help their children (we are still allowed to do that right?) but it is obviously frowned upon in Jake's class. Jake sees a poster sitting by the door (we are literally in the door way) and asks if there is another place to put his so the 3D part doesn't get crushed (the other poster was a flat collage and you can just imagine what would happen to a 3D poster if it gets piled on top of....). Before he can even finish his sentence, his teacher tells him to read the board it tells you what to do and she doesn't have enough room in her classroom so they are going to have to be stacked on top of each other....Okay. Isn't it rude to interrupt people in the middle of a sentence? I know Jake is only 9 but don't those rules apply to everyone? And since when did it become a problem to ask questions at school to make sure your project doesn't get ruined? I understand that they are trying to teach responsibility but does it have to be done rudely? Maybe he should have waited to get all the way in the classroom to know what to do with it, but he was trying to be RESPONSIBLE, so maybe we can talk to him with a little more respect. It also bothers me that Jake wasn't at all caught off guard by her interrupting him and being annoyed by his question. I took it personally that she didn't even look at me when I greeted her (and I know she heard me because she mumbled hi) and didn't even say bye when I did when I was leaving the classroom. Even though I was surprised by the way she talked to Jake I didn't let it show or act rudely. Remember I am a doormat so I just acted like it didn't happen. So, now I am teaching Jake it is okay for people to treat you like that....Great way to start the day! I don't think she was trying to be rude and I think it is just her personality, but it is hard to think Jake is spending 7 hours a day this way. At least when I am grumpy and rude he knows I love him and I apologize....
And that brings me to the character trait about myself that I would like to change. I AM GOING TO STOP BEING A DOORMAT. What do I even do to start not being a doormat?
To tell you how pitiful I am, I am now worried about what you will think when you read this...It is my blog and I am allowed to vent....right? It's better than going to work and taking it out on the people that can't figure out how to use U-Scan right?
AMEN!!! I totally agree 100%! I totally get that we all have bad days, but why are so many people just plain old rude? I totally understand the teacher thing. When we first moved here, we went to Katelund's kindergarten teacher to meet her after school one day. It seriously took her about 5 minutes before she ever even acknowledged Katelund. I could not believe it!! I was so glad that she was only in her class for 6 weeks.
ReplyDeleteYou have been raised to be respectful and I think that is a great character trait. Unfortunately, most of the world think that it's all about them and no one else matters. How sad that it has come to this. At some point you may have to ask the teacher to meet with you. It sounds to me like she can't take the stress of her job. Sadly she is still teaching because this certainly isn't the example we want for our children.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be nice for one day to just let everyone know how you are really feeling when they act like that and then not feel bad at all about hurting their feelings.
I've had experiences where I did just that when I've noticed that someone was treating another person in a terrible and totally inappropriate way. It's funny that I could stand up for someone I didn't even know but hold back when it affects me or a loved one.
Wish I had the answers.
Mom
Girl I am telling you I would NOT be able to keep my mouth shut with the whole teacher thing, it really bothers me!!!! No kids should have to have a mean crappy teacher, but so many do!!! One lesson I would teach Jake is that there a lot of people out there in life and that sometimes you just have to deal with it!! One day he may have a really rude boss and he will have this experience to draw upon. I still hate it!!! And as far as U-SCAN, that is so annoying that people think u can treat people ANYWAY they want!!! I am so sorry Tomorrow will be so much better!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh man! First, don't be so hard on yourself. Change how you think about it, maybe you're not a doormat. A liar needs someone who is trusting, a rude person needs someone who is patient, and an ill behaved teacher needs someone who is not confrontational- in order for them to be the way that THEY are. The way that YOU are is not offensive or mistreating anyone. So don't change how you are! But maybe guard who you allow to be involved in your life so as to not be taken advantage of.
ReplyDeleteI practice in the mirror what I might say to someone who I know I'm going to encounter again- so as to not go home and think "I wish I would have said/done ____"
I know you are right about people needing to care a little more. I do know that I have seen you when you stand up for what you believe in...it is something that I always admire in you. People listen to you, believe you and follow you. Don't be afraid to say what you think...because you are generally right...especially when people are treating you or anyone inappropriately or just acting inappropriately. That teacher needs a wake up call. Good luck but really pray lots!
ReplyDelete