Brain Declutter...Because my brain is overflowing with clutter...

Clutter is putting it mildly....There is some guilt mixed in too, so i (a lower case i because that is all i deserve at the moment) will start with that and get it over with...

*i will not be winning any mother of the year awards any time soon i am sorry to say...We got an invitation to attend an awards ceremony for awesome kiddos (Jake of course was one of them) and i...forgot.  Totally and completely forgot...i was in school on Tuesday morning and the saw the principal and she said "I gave Jake his medal and award.  Sorry you weren't able to come on Friday night."...To this my reply was come to what?  i didn't even remember it then!!!  My child could have walked across a stage and gotten his medal and award for being a smarty pants (at the local High School, because it was that big of a deal and i could have cried like a baby clapped and cheered....but i forgot....i stink.  i am also really bummer because they changed the words to apply to the kiddos getting good grades and sang "Firework" originally by Katy Perry.  i really love that song and wish we could have heard it. i would have cried for sure...
Here is Jake with his medal and certificate.  Sadie had couldn't resist being in the picture.

*Jake's way of trying to make me not feel so bad (he forgot too, but he is 9 after all and i am the mom) is to remind me that he feels bad about getting into our mini pool and playing in it with Sadie...with my cell phone in his pocket.  We are talking submerged fully for enough time that they couldn't even retrieve my phone numbers or photos from it when i went to Verizon...i really can't be mad at him and i'm not.  He was carrying my keys and phone in his pocket when we went on a walk with Sadie, because I had on yoga pants that didn't have pockets.  So, if you are a close friend or family member that didn't receive and email from me here is what it said: "Please send me a text (or email) and tell me who you are if you would ever like me to call you again."  There are some people i expected to hear from but haven't...i wonder if they didn't get it, or if they are not responding deliberately...This mishap made me realize:  i don't even know my mom and dad's cell phone or my in-law's...And I thought I knew Aaron's (my husband, for those of you who may have stumbled upon my random blog), but I was off by one number.  This is my wake up call to get organized.  It would be pretty bad to not be able to call...well anyone, if there was an emergency.

*i went to Jake's school today to help with a field day of sorts.  The 4th grade was playing "A Minute To Win It" and it was a lot of fun.  It was 9,000 degrees out so i was lucky that i got to be in the hall way.  You see i had "defying gravity" that required balloons which popped as soon as they hit the 9,000 degree ground.  They were supposed to keep 3 balloons up in the air for 1 minute...We ended up modifying it all the way done to 1 because the longest anyone could go with 3 balloons was not quite 4 seconds, and with 2 they made it to almost 30 seconds...Try it-it is harder than it sounds.  We are talking 1 person trying to keep 3 in the air with out holding them. It was fun but again no mother of the year award because i forgot my camera!!! But i did remember it on Tuesday when the 4th graders did the NC Living History Museum.  They all had to pick a person linked to NC in some way and dress up like them and give a speech.  It was so neat, but for whatever reason it was 7,000 degrees in the hallway Jake's class was standing in (the rest of the 4th grade was in the nicely air conditioned gym...)  and by the end of the hour, costumes were being peeled off and parents had abandoned their children and were standing in the gym chatting... Not all parents. i I only went in to hear a couple of kiddos in the gym do their speeches and then went back out to suffer with my child's class.  After that we had a picnic and an ice cream party and i I took Jake home early. Jake was Sir Walter Raleigh.  Have you heard of him?  He is pretty interesting, you should Google him.

By the end of the hour Jake had shed his fancy neck ruffles and cape...

At the picnic with his best buds in his 4th grade class.  From left to right:  Kayla, Sophia, Maddie, and Connor.  Jake/Sir Walter Raleigh in the front. :)

*i  (back to lower case because this is not nice...) am thrilled that i am done being a room mom!!!!  i will just say what is on my mind right now (don't judge me people):  it is really hard to be the room mom for a teacher you are not a fan of.  i had to go and buy her an end of the year gift with the $165 people sent in (how much do people send in for awesome teachers???).  i have to admit a tiny part of me wanted to put the money in Jake's savings account to compensate him for his pain and suffering of being in her class all year...(i told you not to judge me...).  i didn't of course.  YIPPPEE that my duties as room mom are over!!!

*i have to go and check on a baby bird Sadie almost stepped on this morning when we were on our walk. I called the vet and they said don't pick it up because this time of year baby birds are learning to fly and the chances are good that the parents were nearby waiting for me to leave so they could go on teaching their baby.  Part of my hopes it isn't there because i don't want a pet bird...but I can't leave it there to die...

*Sadie threw up in the car 2 times yesterday as we drover around trying to find the park we went to a couple of months ago to play in the pond...Awesome.  The great thing is I have this car cleaner that works amazing and the car doesn't even smell like puke-not even in 10,000 degree weather.

*Don't let the fun activities fool you.  Jake's school has done more this week than they have done the whole year.

*While waiting in the car rider line today, a mom carrying a toddler, wearing a huge t-shirt with words on it walked by.  i got as far as: As* (rhymes with bass...) and Bit#@ (a term when used correctly means "female dog") and stopped reading.  i watched her (judging her very harshly, i must admit) as her daughter (i am guessing a kindergartner) ran up to her wearing a pretty pink princess dress...Oh the irony.  This after talking to one of Jake's classmates moms, who kept dropping the F bomb.  Lovely.  It did make me feel better that she dropped the F bomb while sober, because Jake went to a pool party at her house (i thought is was safe to leave him under her care because i have known her since 3rd grade...) and when I came back from going to the grocery store to pick him up, i found all the adults drinking on the porch while the children were in the pool...She was dropping the F bomb while i was talking to her at the pool party so i assumed she had to be drunk.  Apparently she wasn't, she just talks like that all the time children aren't close by.  So, as far as the pool party goes if she wasn't drunk, she could have jumped in the pool and rescued a drowning child.  I am trying to look at the bright side of our decaying society....

*Random picture of Jake in one of the trees in the front yard.

That's enough decluttering for now...Hopefully my next post won't be a picture of our new pet baby bird...

Embracing 35...

That's right I said it, I am 35.  I was going to redo 34 but driving home from Virginia on Sunday something clicked in my brain and I realized no matter what spin I put on it I am still 35...and that is okay. I earned that year, even though on a  personal level I feel like I have accomplished...well nothing this past year!  I know if I really thought about it I probably have but on the surface I feel like it was kind of a flop.  I sound so pitiful and depressed don't I?  I'm not really.  I am just going to look ahead to what this year will bring.  Here are a few things I plan on accomplishing this year.  This year is going to be my year.  My wonderful husband reminded me that I say that every year on my b-day...but I am pretty sure this really is my year...My year to:

*Lose a whole bunch of weight and you won't even know it (because I am so done talking, crying, whining, complaining, dwelling, murmuring, and rationalizing it) until I post a picture of myself and you will all look at my blog and leave me comments saying "You look great!", "How much weight have you lost?", "Great job!".  And I will love myself and actually be able to recognize the person I see in the mirror as the person I have been hiding a way under layers of fat for the past almost decade. :)  This is all I will say about that subject so don't even mention it...until you see a picture that you can say "WOW!" too...I guess I should post a picture of the "wow..." that is me right now so you will have something to compare it too.

*Not make long lists of things that I WANT to do but don't really have TIME to do or Need to do. I will stop adding more pressure to myself.  I did accomplish some of the things on my list that I made the beginning of May.  I read my scriptures ever day except one and I just plan forgot that day.  I did read a few other books (on my Kindle that ROCKS), not all of which are on the original list but things I just plan wanted to read.  I finished my puzzle, but not any of the other projects (that I will do this summer...whenever I decide I have time and really want, rather than feel like I need, to them).  I never got up at 5:30am and I am totally okay with that.  I am not a morning person and I don't think that is ever going to change.  I have done better with exercising-wait I said I wasn't going to talk about it!  I can't even remember what else was on the list...Oh yeah Spring cleaning-negative on that, but it will happen because next week I am done working 5 days a week and we are going to get on an AWESOME schedule immediately after school gets out..Okay-rambling!  You get it-the list was not completed-surprise, surprise.  Moving on...

*Continue to strengthen my testimony.  I will serve more.  I will set a better example to those around me.  I will remember who I am-"at all times, in all things, and in all places".  I will stop neglecting my spiritual needs.

* Take time for me.

*Follow through rather than giving up in all areas of my life that this applies to.

*Be less grumpy.  I will not take my stress out on my family.  I will try not to stress about things out of my control.

*Do better at keeping in touch and reach out and reconnect with people that have touched my life for the better.

*Remember what is important and stop worrying about things that aren't.

*Be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, etc....

 *Doing other things that I see I need to do as the year goes on.

That list is much better than the one I did the beginning of May.  I guess I am already older and wiser.  35 may not be so bad after all....

For posterities sake...and my sanity.

I thought back on the week and realized there were a couple things I need to document so in 20 years I can look back and realize it wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time. Also, so my posterity can look back and say "Yep she was just as crazy as we thought she was." Just kidding. Hopefully they won't say that, but I do need to jot this down so I remember how I felt and I can look back and learn from it. Consider this to be a journal entry and ignore it if you don't want to read my blues...

To my future self and Posterity,

Remember a couple of posts back when I posted the mean email Jake's 4th grade teacher sent the whole class? Well, it's got nothing on the 2 she sent me personally. I will not post them here because it would be to lengthy. You will stumble across them somewhere in my file cabinet. It will be the file marked: "I only forgive these people because Heavenly Father is making me." (That is a joke, and very irreverent I know but I am just keeping it real and saying how I am feeling at this very moment. In a few days I will probably feel the same way...I mean be over it. Can anyone tell me how you do that cool thing where you type something and then make a line through it and then type something else? That would be extremely useful for me...) Any who, she sent an email to me saying Jake should have talked to her about an assignment before he left school on Thursday early...because he had to go to the doctor and wasn't feeling well. (He has some kind of a bug bite on his neck that has caused all the glands on that side to swell and be hard as a rock. It hurts to turn his head and he is now on what the pharmacist called, and I quote, "a whale of a dose". It is a dose usually reserved for adults, but the doctor felt we really needed to treat as if it is Lyme's Disease to be on the safe side. The pharmacist even called and spoke directly to the doctor to verify it was indeed the right dose...Fun times people! The poor kiddo has to take a HUGE horse pill twice a day for 14 days. We will get the lab work back next week, which I am sure will verify it isn't Lyme's Disease, but better safe than sorry...Back to the email). I was upset due to her poor choice of words, I read it to Aaron (it was his long day so I read it to him over the phone on his way from school to work..), we agreed on our response, and I hit the send button. (Again to long to post here...especially since this is already long enough...) I waited, checked my emails, waited some more, and then checked again...This went on until I finally hit the sack. When I woke up in the morning I figured I would check one more time...and there it was. A long, nasty, and critical email back. Critical (in a mean way) of MY CHILD. I pointed out in my email that he is intimidated by her and doesn't always feel comfortable talking to her because she cuts him off. In her email she actually said: "I listened to him (and walked with him) quite a bit on the trip yesterday, but even then it would be something he had already told me, or he would begin talking when the guide was talking to us or I wasn't quite finished with someone else and he would begin. It is very awkward sometimes on how to respond to him." Wow lady. He is 9 1/2, likes to talk, and on occasion gets excited and interrupts. In your 20 years of teaching is the first time you have come across this? Or are you just completely on the defensive and need to take a dig at a kid to make yourself feel better? I could go on, but I won't because it makes me want to send her an email saying: "You are a really big bully to all the kids in your class and the parents. But guess what lady? My child has never caused problems or gotten in trouble in your class. He does his homework and gets good grades. I am the class parent and have shelled out countless amounts of money and made sure everything is always taken care of for class events whether I can be there or not. I feel really bad for the children who are trouble makers, get bad grades, and have slacker parents. I wonder how you treat those poor kids, because you treat MY CHILD like crap"

I am giving myself a day before I respond, but I will respond. I am printing the emails and bringing them to talk to the Principal on Monday. I realize it will make no difference but it will make me feel better. If I had my choice Jake would only be back in his school long enough to pack up his desk, but there are laws on how many days you have to be in school and how much notice you have to give before you can home school. In the meantime we are literally counting down the days until school is over. There are 23 left. He still technically has 5 days he can miss so we will use them if we have to. On the last day we will throw a party that will rival the Royal wedding and we will be happy as can be. Until then I will cry myself to sleep on most nights, and toss and turn and feel an overwhelming guilt that I am making my child spend 7 hours of his day with Satan's Sister. That may be a little dramatic, but it did make me smile and I needed that. :) I am sure at some point she was an adequate teacher, but she is burnt out now. And Heaven knows that all 9 and 10 year old's and their parents are horrible, idiotic, and slack people so I guess I should cut her some slack. :) Now I feel even better. I have been called a doormat before and I admit I most definitely am-but this week I wasn't...It seems easier at times to be a doormat-but not when it comes to my baby. My mother bear instincts are lethal women, and you are messing with the wrong cub! :) Am I terrified of coming face to face with her because I finally told her how I feel? You bet I am...

Could my life be so much worse? Absolutely! I could have lost my home or worse yet loved ones in one of the horrible tornado's that hit our country this week. Some one in my family could have a terminal illness. We could be homeless. It can always be worse-I realize that and I thank my Heavenly Father every day for all he has blessed me with. But at this particular moment I needed to let it all out, feel a moment of pity for myself and family, and now I can move on. I am not proofreading this so ignore my ramblings if they make no sense...
Ahhhh. I feel so much better now.
Blogging is so much cheaper than therapy.
Okay, I am done.

Wordful Wednesday: Myths about Women

This will be short and sweet today...and actually fits in perfectly with the myth I want to talk about. The world believes that women can have both a career and a family. I am here to tell you that if you have both, something will be lacking. I only work part time and there is a lot lacking in the house work department. I know it will be there tomorrow. But, you do have to wash the dishes when there are no more forks. And you do have to do the laundry when there is no more clean underwear. There are also things lacking in the family department. Date night, movie night, game night, making it to all the basketball games & field trips, when Jake is sick and I go to work because Daddy is home (but sleeping because he worked 3rd shift.), time to play, dinners that aren't out of a box, traditions crashing and burning...You get the picture. No these things aren't going to scar my family and we are blessed...but it is hard and I feel guilty EVERY day for something I could do better or more if I wasn't always busy trying to juggle it all. Yes, it is a reality in the world today that women have to work outside the home. I know my time working outside the home is temporary and I am happy that I have been able to be home for so long. I am so lucky that I was able to get a job that works so well with my schedule. I am extremely blessed for that reason. But as I talk to people at work and watch the news, it is evident that families are suffering in this country and I believe that mom's having to work is a big part of that. I hope I am not offending anyone. We all do what we have to do, but it is true. Families suffer when mom's have to work. Don't hate me for keeping it really people...If I weren't tired I would think of a better way to put all this, but you get it right? Now I have to go and open up a can of hot dog chill and pears for our awesome dinner, since my guys just finished their level on Lego Star Wars III.... (I had to work a longer shift than usual so that is the best I can do...)

Check out other ladies feeling on this very topic over at Chocolate on my Cranium.

Today...

...I feel like blogging not going to work! :) I can't complain I get paid to talk to people and push buttons...but I really want to check out every one's blogs and update mine! I have been making the weekends blog free, but I am going to have to break it this weekend...I need to declutter my brain!!! I guess for now I will go to work and blog later. Expect a brain declutter of enormous proportions later... TGIF!!!!